I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Asking for help from family is one of the hardest things EVER!

I think for most people, asking for help = admitting you screwed up and you can’t fix things on your own. I have certainly thought this in the past, but after going through the ordeal myself, my goal is to convince you otherwise!

My intention wasn’t to ask for a full $8,500 loan from my family to cover all of my credit card debt. I just wanted $1,000-$2,000 to act as leverage to help get me off the high-interest treadmill I was on. I knew that was all I needed, and for you, that might also be the case. A small loan from a family member might be just the ticket to get you started on your debt repayment journey. The difference between a family and banks, though, is that your family actually cares about you and your situation. Banks do not.

Banks don’t care if you lost your job, you have medical bills to pay, or if you are still “just learning” how to use a credit card. By applying for a credit card or accepting a credit card offer, you have essentially established your financial responsibility as a consumer with the bank/issuer. The bank generally does give us the information we need to know at the get-go to manage our credit card spending responsibly. It might not be the easiest to understand because it’s all legal mumble jumble, but the answers are there. And no, most of us don’t read that stuff. That’s just how it is. But when it comes time to pay the balances and fees, banks don’t care if your paycheck is still in the mail. You told the creditors you can be held accountable when you opened your account, and there are very few, if any, grace periods when it comes to credit cards.

Family, on the other hand, can empathize with you. They will likely be more receptive of all the other issues you’re dealing with that may be having an impact on your spending habits or your ability to pay off your debt. There’s a good chance they may be willing to sit down and figure out a repayment schedule that won’t stress you out or leave you living on the street.

I knew right away I didn’t want to ask my parents for money. My parents have provided more than enough for me growing up and as I mentioned earlier, I didn’t want them to view me as a total financial screw up. My dad had also quit his job several years ago, and while he was hired at a new company immediately, I didn’t want to burden them with this.

I also knew I needed compassion and support and most parents immediate reactions to “I have a pile of credit card debt” isn’t all hugs and rainbows. I felt bad enough on my own about the situation and I really didn’t want to deal with more criticism. Now, don’t get me wrong, my parents are supportive, but I think it’s natural for all parents to be overly concerned and a bit critical when it comes to their children’s poor decisions. I’ve found that, for me, overly concerned parents (I know, I know, they just love me so much) can do more harm than good to my emotional state in certain situations.

So I first approached my grandfather, since he is retired and I know he’s got a pretty good pension. My grandfather was willing to help me out, but after telling my younger sister about my situation, she suggested I ask our aunt for advice as well. Aunt S is the Dean of Business at a private university here in Ontario, and a financial wiz. She’s also very special to me and our bond extends beyond her extra-attentive aunt/niece interactions throughout my childhood all the way to her rubbing my feet as I lay in the ICU on life support and taking notes from the doctors when my parents couldn’t be there (but that’s a whole other story).

Aunt S was very compassionate and offered to pay off my debt in full on the condition that I would pay her back. I am beyond grateful for this amazing gift of not only financial discipline and guidance, but her love and support.

We got together and looked over my finances. She sent me a list of things she wanted to see and I spent a good day and a half preparing two folders (one for my credit card information, one for my banking information) for her to look over. I promised my aunt, my grandfather, and my parents full transparency and I was determined to prove to them that I really was taking this seriously. I brought her everything I could think of. I prepared spreadsheets, I highlighted bank statements. I literally bared my financial soul on her dining room table.

Side note/shameless plug: I’m working on a FREE ebook to help guide you through the detailed process my aunt and I went through to prepare me for my debt repayment journey!

I’ve also decided to be transparent with the world, so check out my debt repayment plan here.

In addition to the help of my aunt, my parents sent me $100 to help out a bit, and my grandfather generously gave me a $500 cheque. I used that $600 to pay bills and some of my recent moving expenses.

You might not think anyone in your family will want to help you out, especially since credit card debt is a problem we get ourselves into. Take a chance on, though, and ask for help. Even if your family can’t help you because of their own financial situations, they might be able to give you some advice or at least provide emotional support.

It’s so hard to work up the courage to ask the question, but you have to allow yourself to be vulnerable. I went into the whole “asking for money” thing by telling my family from the start that I am fully away of where I went wrong, what I did wrong, and what I need to do to fix it. I also told them I was feeling pretty crappy about myself already and if they could refrain from expressing their utter disappointment directly to my face, it would just make things a little bit easier.

Since I started this blog, I’ve received a lot of great feedback from people. They think I’m brave to be so open, but really, this is how it should be. Finances shouldn’t have to be so private and secretive. Sure, you don’t need to go shouting from the rooftops how loaded you are or how awesome it is to be able to afford new things. But money doesn’t make people happy. I have seen this first hand, and I believe it to be true.

This doesn’t mean finances are going to be a breeze. Managing finances takes work, but once you get things under control, it feels easy. I am learning this every day and I am here to show you just how easy it can be! If I can do it, you can do it. Trust me. I don’t even know how to multiply in my head (except for the easy ones like 2x, 5x or 10x).

I hope you are able to ask your family for financial help, or at least ask for their emotional support. I realize not everyone has family that are close or generous, so if you need some encouragement, give me a shout. I’d love to support you the way I’m being supported.